Nokia invents the press release montage

Not content with its countless 5G ‘firsts’, Nokia has broken new marketing ground by inventing the press release montage and then issuing a press release about it.

“Nokia is celebrating twelve months of 5G ‘firsts’” heralds the press release. While we don’t question that Nokia has plenty to celebrate, it’s unusual to see an announcement celebrating the celebrations. Presumably we can now expect Nokia’s CEO to send a press release the next time he’s out on the lash for his birthday.

The gloss was taken off the source of this public euphoria by the puzzling use of scare quotes around the word ‘firsts’. These are often used by us grizzled hacks to denote some degree of scepticism around the claim being made, so it’s surprising to see Nokia apply them to its own statement. Inadvertently, we presume, they create the impression that Nokia doesn’t fully support the claim it’s making.

But the real innovation is the recycling of several bits of old news to make a shiny new piece. All journalists will have some sympathy for the position Nokia’s marketing department presumably found itself in – wanting to stay in the news but having nothing significant to announce. In fact, you can expect to see stories celebrating a great year of writing stories on Telecoms.com next time there’s a quiet news day.

Warming to its theme, Nokia goes on to claim no less than 23 ‘game-changing’ (see how it works?) achievements in the past year, such that the game is unrecognisable from its 2018 form. It then goes on to list them. The purpose of all this celebrating, game-changing and listing is to emphasise how great Nokia is at 5G, as if that was in any doubt.

“The past 12 months of Nokia’s 5G milestones and successes stem from our years of research into 5G and the resulting innovative technologies are changing the world for consumers and industries,” said Marcus Weldon, Nokia’s Corporate CTO and President of Nokia Bell Labs.

“Whether enabling new geographies to experience the possibilities of 5G for the first time, pushing technology to define new limits and deliver groundbreaking performance, or achieving 5G firsts never before seen, Nokia’s end-to-end portfolio is helping customers redefine what’s possible, as the true potential of 5G starts to take hold.”

Not just firsts, but ones never before seen at that; first firsts, if you will. We congratulate Nokia on knocking it out of the park for the past year and sincerely hope everyone there enjoyed their celebrations. It’s healthy to give yourself a pat on the back every now and then, but most people don’t feel the need make a formal announcement out of it. Having set the precedent, however, we look forward to a video montage of all Nokia’s recent achievements before long.