Panicked telecoms industry pleads for Awards deadline extension

In response to a wave of plaintive lobbying from telecoms industry execs, the entry deadline for the 2017 Glotel Awards has been extended by a couple of weeks.

While many wisely prioritised their Awards entry over lounging around on the beach, for some the lure of golden sand, red wine and blue cheese proved too great. Now that they’re back, however, the lingering taste of Roquefort has turned sour in their mouths as the sheer enormity of their oversight hits home.

“When I reflect on my two weeks of shameless sloth and wanton hedonism I barely recognise that person,” Denis, a chastened vendor, confided to Telecoms.com. “What kind of an irresponsible fool spends the summer sunning themselves and getting pissed while the opportunity for industry immortality passes them by? I’m taking a long, hard look in the mirror now, I can tell you.”

Such is the industry-wide remorse that Telecoms.com towers has been inundated with unsolicited holiday tat, hastily couriered over in a desperate attempt to gain favour with the influential title. Everything from fine wines to fridge magnets and even a piñata have had to be turned away by bemused receptionists. The team has now extended the entry deadline to the end of Friday 1 September, which they hope will stem the flow of exotic bribes.