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Queen Liz set to live-stream and monetize Prince Phillip

Tired of having to explain why Prince Philip keeps offending people and cultures, Queen Elizabeth is said to be setting up an OTT live-streaming service to monetize the gaffes.

In between impressions of Colin Macrae, Prince Philip, the Duke of Cambridge, is well-known for unintentionally insulting anyone who didn’t gain at least three O-Levels from Eton or Harrow. According to sources, Queen Elizabeth has decided to mount the latest Go-Pro on her husband, which will be then live-streamed through a currently unknown website, with subscribers only having to pay £2.99 a month.

“Her Majesty wants to demonstrate she is more than just the Head of State,” said Dennis, a Buckingham Palace insider. “After 92 years, Her Majesty wants to demonstrate to the people of the UK and the world that she has excellent business acumen. We expect thousands of people to sign up almost immediately, such is the prominence of Prince Philip’s comments.”

Although unconfirmed, the Palace is reportedly in discussions with several telcos around the world, many of whom are seeking exclusive rights for a zero-rating offer. The UK telcos are bidding particularly aggressively, with EE reportedly the keenest, sniffing out a bargain to continue building its content platform. Insiders at Three suggest it wants the right to be the focal point of a new campaign which will be know as ‘Go Groan’.

“Video is constantly being hyped nowadays, and the Royal Family members are constantly sending cat and rugby memes to each other,” said Dennis. “The Queen published her first post on Instagram in March, during a visit to London’s Science Museum, and now she’s hooked. She sees this platform as a great opportunity to make some extra money off her husband’s personality. Those corgi’s go through a lot of doggie biscuits.”

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2 comments

  1. Avatar Carl Edgar Law 01/04/2019 @ 2:41 pm

    I used to freelance for Mark when I was writing telecoms reports for FT Telecoms and Media.

    It’s actually ‘gaffes’, Jamie. Gaffs are what pull the fish into the boat – those large mouth bass, pickerel and muskellunge etc.

    Otherwise, I was completely fooled until I checked my calendar

    Cheers, mate

    • Jamie Davies Jamie Davies 01/04/2019 @ 2:55 pm

      Thanks Carl – updated that para. Probably the most enjoyable ‘story’ I’ve written for a while

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